January seems to be the most hopeful of all months. It’s the time of year that we close one chapter and begin another. It’s a fresh start, a time to let bygones be bygones, to put the past behind you and to resolve to make the new year a better year.
If you’re a resolution-maker, then you already know that losing weight is the most popular resolution. To help you maintain good health, we put together a Health & Fitness feature to help you with everything from detoxing and boosting your immunity, to healthy eating habits to celebrity fitness tips. If you’re thinking of abandoning your resolution by February, read the weight-loss success story about Dawn Lajeunesse, who lost nearly 40 pounds. Though the weight came off slowly, she is healthier and happier than she’s been in years. Let her be an inspiration to you!
In the midst of the long winter, it’s nice to have something to look forward to. If you are unable to jet away to a warm island, stay closer to home and warm up in front of the fire at any of the numerous B&B’s that are an easy drive away. This month, we feature three that will impress you: Union Gables B&B in Saratoga, Fort William Henry in Lake George and West Mountain Inn in Vermont. Each place will welcome you, warm you and provide you with a weekend of memories.
On behalf of the entire staff of CRL Magazine, I wish you and yours a happy, healthy New Year.

Weight loss success

Dawn Lajeunesse

By Mary Beth Galarneau

Before: 168
After: 131 (10 more to go)
Height: 5'5"
Age: 59
Went from tight size 14 to a loose size 8
Months it took: 12

Dawn Lajeunesse can't remember a time in her life when she didn't aspire to lead a healthy lifestyle. But like many people, the aspiring part wasn't enough to make her change her lifestyle. Motivation did come, however, from debilitating health problems that were interfering with her quality of life.
Growing up, Lajeunesse maintained a normal weight with minimal effort. But like many people, she gained a lot of weight in college, lost it after graduation and yo-yoed all of her adult life. Her early fifties brought with it a cardiac scare that resulted in her being hospitalized at Albany Medical Center for a night. The problem was not acute, but highlighted her risk factors: high blood pressure, cholesterol and family history. Like many other times during her life, Lajeunesse lost weight, only to put it back on in a few months.

Her mid-fifties proved more difficult. "I was always tired, and the more I rested, the less I felt like doing. I just felt lousy all of the time," she said.
A nurse for 37 years, she knew that her health problems were lifestyle-related.
Three years ago, she had a minor surgical procedure that created imbalance problems and caused chronic vertigo. Though it decreased over the year, it never completely went away. Her inability to endure any kind of physical fitness caused her weight to creep back up.

Not only did she walk like she had a stroke, but she couldn't walk a straight line without holding onto something. "I felt vulnerable and old and then I got mad, more at myself than anything else. I knew I had to take control," said the 59-year-old.

About four months after the minor surgery, she contacted Judy Torel, a long-time Capital Region personal trainer with over 25 years experience based out of Planet Fitness in Loudonville. Lajeunesse had followed Torel throughout her career since her days teaching at the old Colonie Athletic Center in the 1980s. Formerly a resident of Loudonville, Lajeunesse, who now lives in Chestertown but works in Albany, said it was a no-brainer to seek out Torel.
"She exudes energy, fitness and drive. Many trainers have some of that, but Judy takes it to another level."
Upon seeking out Torel, she began her on a strength building routines to rectify her muscle strength imbalances. "Fitness and weight loss were less of a focus at that point," Lajeunesse said.

Though she sought out physical therapy for her problems in the past, it didn't help. But Torel's routine zeroed in on the problem and, within a few months, even with the chronic vertigo, her muscle strength was balanced and sufficient enough for her to begin a more active program.
Torel took Lajeunesse's baseline weights and measurements and conducted metabolic-type testing to identify the appropriate balance of carbohydrates, protein and fats for optimal health (40-40-20 percent). She also set up an exercise routine that incorporated cardiovascular exercises into the mix.
"Mostly what I did was time on the elliptical and walking (with increasing elevation) on the treadmill about three times a week."
As for the diet, Lajeunesse, a former "junk food junkie", found that the 40-40-20 balance satisfied her enough that she wouldn't overeat. Very occasionally, she will allow herself junk, calling it "therapeutic", but is quickly reminded how lousy they make her feel.

Be don't be misled: changing her diet, which sometimes consisted of chips and candy for meals, was not easy. "Judy recommended going a certain number of days with only protein and water vegetables to help clear my system and reduce cravings." Though she slid backward many times, she eventually settled into a healthy pattern.

With portion control and moderate exercise, the weight slowly started to come off. "I wasn't really focused on weight loss as getting my functional self back."
About a year later, she reached a plateau and felt ready to push herself further. "It was very much an evolving process," said Lajeunesse, who then started weekly training sessions with Torel.
Another ailment she suffered from for years was chronic back pain, which didn't completely go away when her strength imbalances were corrected. Physical therapy, chiropractic care and even cortisone shots in her hip and spinal column didn't help.
"Judy didn't give up until she identified a possible cause."

The cause turned out to be a discrepancy in her leg length and the solution was as simple as wearing a Dr. Scholl's insert in the shoe on her shorter side. Within a month, her recurrent back pain was history and thoughts of running a marathon started creeping into her mind.
Though an attempt to run a marathon 10 years earlier was an unpleasant experience for Lajeunesse because of her chronic pain, she still loved long runs. Now that her health had improved, the thought of running another race enticed her. In early 2008, she turned to Torel to assess her capability to run and to design a program.

"At that point, we began the online training format, with only occasional in-person encounters to adjust my weight workouts."
Torel provides her with a week of workouts at a time, and Lajeunesse logs in daily to record her completion of the workouts. This program also has a nutrition log component, but Lajeunesse admits to not having been as consistent with that as the workout log. Torel reads the log and adapts the workout schedule, increasing, decreasing, or just modifying routines as needed.

Following the plan and eating healthy without counting calories, Lajeunesse felt herself growing leaner and feeling fitter by the week.
"I lost about 15 pounds during the training and felt better than I could ever remember - even in my youth."

But a strained calf muscle during a half-marathon (13 miles) three weeks before the big marathon caused her to have to stop at the 13.5 mile mark. But it certainly didn't dampen her spirits; instead, it has only egged her on. She plans to run in the Vermont City Marathon in Burlington this May.
"In a way, that was a good thing because now I have unfinished business. There is no way I'm going to slack off on training."
And, if all goes well, Lajeunesse plans on doing another marathon in the fall, before she turns 60.

Lajeunesse's typical weekly workout schedule (it varies a little, depending on the phase of her training.)

Sunday - long run (2-4+ hours)
Monday - off
Tuesday - moderate (4-5 mile) run or 1 hour elliptical (strides 180/resistance 7) plus 30-45 minutes strength
Wednesday - 1 hour elliptical
Thursday - Speed work - 4 miles inclusive of intervals of running at LT pace, plus 45 minutes strength. (LT pace stands for lactic acid threshold and is the pace when you start to reach an intensity that you can no longer sustain without an excess of lactic acid starting to accumulate in the blood. It is also known as "race pace".)
Friday - off
Saturday - easy run or 1 hour elliptical plus 45-minutes of strength training
Intensity is key to staying in shape. "In the old days I would spend 45-60 minutes on the elliptical and barely break a sweat." Now, with the speed and resistance training added in, Lajeunesse is soaked within 10 minutes. Before, she would alternate running and walking on the treadmill, now she alternates running and running faster.
"The length of the workouts and the intensity both contribute to fat burning," she said. In addition to her workout schedule, Lajeunesse also canoes with her husband, hikes and walks her dog. She also enjoys the occasional yoga class.

Boost your immunity

By Alissa Lubanski

If you haven't gotten that dreaded winter cold already, then you probably would like to prevent it in any way possible. The key is to keep your immune system strong so it can fight off any harmful invaders in your body. In order to do its job, the immune system requires a constant supply of energy and nutrients.

The following tips can help build up the immune system, and in turn, can combat not only that cold, but a host of other diseases.
Keep sugar to a minimum. Sugar depletes nutrient absorption in your body and raises your body's insulin levels, which in turn, depresses the immune system.

Get enough sleep each night. When you sleep, your body is able to make repairs. If you don't get enough sleep, you will not only feel run-down but your immune system will also suffer.

Exercise. Exercise is beneficial in so many ways. It helps combat stress, which can take a toll on the immune system. Yoga, for instance, can help balance energies and certain poses help massage organs, improving immune system function.
Wash your hands. Wash your hands with soap and water as soon as you come home, and always before you eat. This reduces your exposure to bacterial and viral infections. Don't use antibacterial wipes, because that can allow strains of virus and bacteria to mutate and become stronger, making them more difficult to treat.

Eat your fruits & veggies. Get necessary antioxidants, vitamins A, C & E, lycopene, Omega 3, folate and other nutrients from colorful fruits and veggies to feed your immune system.

Ingest probiotics. The majority of the immune system lies within the digestive tract. Help your body keep up the good fight against bad bacteria with probiotics (aka healthy bacteria) found in yogurt, kefir and even in supplement form.

Drink tea or tisanes. Green tea and herbal teas (aka tisanes) such as Echinacea, Goldenseal, Astralagus, and Cat's Claw are all shown to boost the immune system. Add a cinnamon stick or a teaspoon of honey to tea for extra health properties.

Get a massage. Massage stimulates the lymphatic system, improves circulation of blood, and nourishes the entire body, which in turn helps to rid your body of unwanted debris or metabolic waste products that can cause disease.

See a chiropractor. According to Dr. Ron Pero at New York Preventative Medicine Institute and Environmental Health at NYU, people who receive regular chiropractic adjustments have immune system competency that is 200 percent greater than those who don't. Need we say more?

Do the Thymus Tap. The Thymus is sometimes considered "the mother" of the immune system. Located behind the breast bone, it produces T-cell lymphocytes which help fight infection. Make a fist and tap on the sternum, or center of chest on the breast bone, for 20 seconds while taking deep breaths and humming. Pounding on the sternum will stimulate the thymus gland (apparently Shirley Maclain swears by this!). Think Tarzan thumping his chest; in effect, this is what he was doing, giving himself a boost of energy and courage, while improving his immune system!

Laugh often. Laughing reduces stress hormones like adrenaline (epinephrine) and cortisol. It also benefits your immune system by increasing the number of T-cells that help your body fight infection and disease.

Break out the humidifier. Keep the humidity inside your house between 30 and 50 percent. This will prevent the drying out of mucous membranes in the nose. The cilia, or fine hairs in the nose, help catch and prevent harmful bacteria from entering the body through the nose. When the cilia dry out, germs can enter much more easily.

Smart tips for healthy eating

Food can make you healthier - if you make good choices. It can seem hard to make healthy food choices, particularly if you are on a budget and short on time. But there are some simple steps you can take to help you and your family eat healthier.

Build a healthier plate
Use a grocery list when shopping for food to help you choose more fresh vegetables, fruits, and whole grains. Buy leaner meats (such as chicken, turkey, and lean cuts of pork or beef such as sirloin or chuck roast) and lower fat dairy products like low-fat or non-fat (skim) milk and yogurt. Buy whole grain breads and cereals. Save money by buying less soda, sweets and chips or other snack foods. Remember that special "dietetic" or "diabetic" foods often cost extra money and may not be much healthier than simply following the suggestions given here.

Also, watch the size of your portions. You may find that you are used to eating portions that count as two or more servings. It helps to be able to "eyeball" portion sizes. Here are some guides:

• Meat, fish, and poultry: 3 ounces, or about the size of the palm of your hand or a deck of cards.
• Cheese: 1 ounce, or about the size of your thumb.
• Fresh vegetables, milk and yogurt: 1 cup, or about the size of a tennis ball.
• Bread: one slice.
Easy ways to make smart food choices
There are lots of ways you can make smart choices about your own and your family's eating habits. According to Ann Albright, PhD, RD, president, Health Care and Education of the American Diabetes Association, "One of the most important things you can do to start eating more healthfully is to pick one or two not-so great items you eat frequently and find a more nutritious substitution for those. If you start with foods you eat more frequently, then the change will pack a bigger punch."

Shop smart
• Set aside some time to plan your weekly meals. It may seem like a hassle at first, but having a plan (and writing your grocery list with it in mind) can save you time, stress, and a lot of extra trips to the store.
• Stock your pantry with plenty of healthy basics, including brown rice, whole grain pasta, crackers and cereals. Remember that fresh fruits and vegetables are usually healthier than canned or frozen, but it is better to have canned or frozen fruits or vegetables than none at all! When you run out, put the items on your grocery list so you'll always have them on hand.
• Shop only from your grocery list. Avoid aisles that contain foods high in calories but low in vitamins and minerals such as candy, cookies, chips and sodas. Also avoid buying items promoted at the front of the store, on the "end-cap" displays at the end of each aisle, or at the cash register. These foods are usually low in nutrition. Never shop when you are hungry and might be tempted by less healthy food.

Eat smart
• Keep fruits and vegetables washed and cut up for easy snacking and steaming.
• Canned and frozen vegetables and fruits are healthful, quick and convenient. To cut down on the sodium in vegetables, drain and rinse canned vegetables with water before heating them. You can do the same to cut down on the added sugar in canned fruits. Better yet, buy them packed in juice.
• Learn how to "Create Your Plate." When serving a meal, draw an imaginary line down the middle of your plate and another one across. Fill half of your plate with leafy greens and other vegetables. Fill one quarter with grains, like whole grain bread or pasta or brown rice. Then fill the last quarter with lean protein such as chicken or fish.
• Start meals with a salad or a broth or tomato-based soup with lots of vegetables. This helps you eat more good-for-you veggies while filling you up before you get to the higher fat and calorie courses.
• Make healthy snack foods easy to find in your kitchen. For example, when you get home from work or school, put some fresh carrots, grapes, or pretzels out on the counter instead of having bags of chips out.
• In restaurants, ask if meats can be grilled rather than fried, and request sauces and dressings on the side. Remember to choose fruit, salad, or other vegetables as side items, rather than French fries. Order a salad or soup to start and then share an entrée. Save money, and lots of calories, by skipping dessert.

Learn more about healthy eating and how it can help lower your risk for type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and stroke. Visit CheckUpAmerica.org or contact the American Diabetes Association at 1-800-DIABETES (1-800-342-2383) or AskADA@diabetes.org.
Courtesy of ARA Content

Take time to stop and detox

By Alissa Lubanski

Our bodies are practically waging a war against the toxins we ingest and are exposed to everyday. These toxins are eliminated in a number of ways, such as through the blood, liver, kidneys, intestines, lungs, lymph and skin. However, when our natural system of detoxification is not running smoothly, toxins can build up, which opens up the possibility for sickness and disease.
If you have the following symptoms, you might benefit from a detox:
• Trouble concentrating
• Insomnia
• Bloating
• Craving junk food
• Depressed or anxious
• Headaches
• Joint pain
• Brittle hair and nails
• White film on tongue
• Constipation
• Reduced sex drive

"The average American can benefit from a gentle detoxification program that includes reducing exposure to toxins, regulation of the diet, and support of the liver, kidneys, gastrointestinal tract and skin in their detoxification and elimination functions," said Dr. Ann Cary Tobin, integrative medicine physician with Partners in Healing in Delmar.

With Tobin's advice in mind, we created a list of relatively simple detoxifying strategies. If you incorporate some of them into your daily regimen, you can start to clean out the unwanted debris, feel better and live healthier.
Eliminate alcohol, coffee, cigarettes, refined sugars and unhealthy fats (at least for however many days you intend to detox).
Avoid harsh chemicals, dyes, and fragrances found within many household cleaners and personal care products, and switch to all-natural products.
The skin can eliminate 10 percent of all waste from the body. Use a skin brush (you can find these brushes at health food stores). Brushing the skin stimulates circulation and the lymphatic system, helping to drain toxins. A warm bath with Epsom salts, apple cider vinegar and a few drops of Rosemary essential oil can also help pull toxins out through the skin. Of course, you can sweat out toxins by exercising or heating up in a sauna.

Rebounding
Jumping on a rebounder, or mini-trampoline, is one of the best exercises for toning your body and getting your lymph fluids flowing, which helps drain the toxins out of your body.

Heavy metals
Cilantro's purifying powers help to pull heavy metals such as aluminum and mercury from your body. Pair with garlic or chlorella, which helps to further carry out the aluminum and mercury that the cilantro has extracted from your body's tissues.

Digestion
Increase fiber intake to clean out and remove toxins via your intestinal tract. Eat brown rice and organically-grown fresh fruits and vegetables; for added fiber try psylium husk capsules or powders.

Hydration
It is important to stay hydrated, so drink sufficient quantities of clean, filtered water. The water will help flush out toxins through your kidneys and urine.

Cold shower therapy
After your hot shower, follow with a blast of cold water for 30 seconds, or as long as you can stand it. This helps to cleanse the circulatory and lymph systems, and strengthens the nervous system and mucous membranes, all of which aid in the elimination of toxins.

Good old-fashioned fast
Try going from lunch to lunch, or dinner to dinner, without eating and only drinking water. When you fast, you rest your organs and digestive system, so instead of processing all of the food you eat, your body can tend to other matters, helping to improve your overall system with the elimination of toxins.

Liquid diet
Drinking only fresh fruit juices and healthy organic vegetable soups for a weekend will help your body loosen up toxins and flush them out.
Other foods and herbs that help detox: pumpkin seeds, lemon, dandelion, milk thistle, mullein, goldenseal, burdock, fennel, sage, chamomile, and peppermint.
Cleansing supplement packages generally contain fiber, herbs, vitamins and minerals. There are many packages to choose from at your local health food store.

Possible detox side effects
It's not uncommon to have some side effects when detoxing, especially if you have a heavy load of toxins. Symptoms may include:
Headache
Excessive sweat and body odor
Fatigue
Feeling unusual emotions
Dry mouth
Rash
Constipation
Disclaimer: Do not detox when pregnant, breastfeeding, menstruating or if you have any other medical problems being treated by a doctor. Always check with your doctor first before beginning a detox program.

How do celebrities look so good?

This is the time of year when many of us take inventory of ourselves and in doing so decide to jump on the pulsating energy of a "new year" with the most notable goal being to improve our physiques!

So, we look to our role models, which often times turns out to be those beautiful people who grace the covers of the magazines that stare us in the face while we are in the check-out at the grocery store (perhaps we should re-think the inventory on the cashier's belt?)
What do these miraculously chiseled men and gloriously thin women do that result in these amazingly thin and lean bodies? Some behaviors are worthy of role modeling in our own lives and some are definitely risky and should be avoided.

Kelly Ripa
This celebrity has established herself as a fitness role model in 2008 as she graced the covers Self and Fitness. She has arms that are being compared to Madonna (known for her vigorous workouts and yoga practice!) and has lost significant weight on a frame that once ballooned up to 170 pounds during pregnancies.
What did she do to go from over-weight pregnant to chiseled super lean? Ripa has been a runner for many years and has returned to her 3-4 times a week 3-5 mile runs. But, she attributes her more recent weight loss and body fat reduction to her new obsession: Physique 57.
Physique 57 is a workout studio in Manhattan with a specific technique that is designed to facilitate increased cardiovascular capacity, superior muscle tone and turbo charged flexibility all in one class! The technique originated out of the work of Lotte Berk, a world-famous ballerina, and is being perpetuated with some refinements by Tanya Becker, owner of Physique 57, who was extensively trained in the Lotte Berk method.
The Physique 57 website describes the technique as "a vigorous and dynamic exercise method designed to rapidly transform your body" and Ripa is a walking testimonial!

Jennifer Lopez
Jennifer Lopez is arguably the most notable female celebrity who has always been recognized for her extreme attractiveness in the absence of excessive thinness. She is a role model for women - she has a successful singing and acting career, a successful marriage, is the mother of twins and in 2008 successfully completed the Malibu Sprint Triathlon! (This after giving birth six months prior!)
Jennifer trained in swimming, cycling and running in order to compete in the California triathlon that attracts pro-triathletes and Hollywood stars alike.
Her trainer, Gunnar Peterson, said not only did Lopez work out, but she also followed a sensible eating plan designed to maintain energy throughout the day and for her workouts. Unlike some regimes where celebrities are going without eating for relatively long periods through the day, Jennifer ate her first meal within 30 minutes of waking up in order to block the body from thinking it is starving and thereby hording its body fat. A typical breakfast was a cup of oatmeal with some sliced fruit and several scrambled egg whites.
Eating at regular intervals (every 3-5 hours) has been linked to successful weight loss and weight management. It causes a jump start in your metabolism every time you eat and it stops you from getting so hungry by the end of the day that you eat like an animal!

Beyonce Knowles
You would have to be living under a rock to not know that Beyonce dropped over 20 pounds in order to play the Diana Ross character accurately in the movie "Dream Girls" in 2006. She had to be heavier in her (Diana Ross's) younger years and leaner in her middle years in the movie and so she had to lose weight, and lose it fast, during the shooting of the movie.
Beyonce regularly works out with a trainer, but in order to drop the weight quickly, she decided to use the Master Cleanse. This regime involves taking in nothing except a liquid drink consisting of maple syrup, lemon juice, water and cayenne pepper. It is touted as a purifier and cleanser. Beyonce is reported to have stated that she felt like she was going to die while on the program and that she was driven to eat fatty foods upon completion which lead to a regain of all the weight she lost.
There are several products currently being promoted in the Capital Region claiming similar benefits to the Master Cleanse. These are Isagenix and Metafast. In my opinion, the major flaw to these regimes is that they teach how not to eat and do not promote experiential learning and practicing of how to be with food on an ongoing daily basis. For these reasons, many people who try these and other fasting regimes, have a similar experience to Beyonce. The weight loss does not last.
To Beyonce's credit, by continuing her workouts with her trainer and changing her eating habits incrementally over time, her body is more buff than at any other time of her life, including the time she did the Master Cleanse!

Matthew McConaughey
With his beach boy good looks and lean, chiseled physique, Matthew McConaughey is the epitome of men's fitness. He added another fitness accomplishment to his resume this year by competing in his first triathlon in Malibu.
McConaughey's fitness philosophy is to do something to break a sweat every single day. Not one to be what he terms as a "fitness fanatic" his approach to working out is less structured and more consistent. He doesn't like to do workouts that involve sets of pre-determined intervals or reps and sets. Instead, McConaughey likes to bring an element of play to all his workouts, going by how he feels and making it fun more than having to complete a dictated format.
In the weight room, he likes to keep his workouts varied by throwing in variations in the middle of his workout program. For instance, he will perform a random set of 200 push ups when the spirit moves him!
But he never misses a day and has been seen doing everything from running with a weighted vest to biking next to his buddy Lance Armstrong to surfing with his girlfriend to caving with buddies to getting in a superset weight workout in the gym.
He takes as similar approach to his eating. He generally eats a high protein, low carbohydrate diet, but has said if he goes to a party and they have beer and wings he isn't going to say "I can't eat that!"
If McConaughey stays as active as he currently is he can maintain his physique while indulging, but portion awareness will have to come into play as he ages if he wants to stay as lean as he is now.
Bottom line: celebrities use a mixture of healthy and not-so-healthy tactics to look as good as they do. Try to take the healthy behaviors and integrate them into your daily regime of self-care and fitness and leave the others back with the now finished year of 2008.

Judy Torel is a USAT coach, personal trainer, nutrition consultant and psychotherapist. She conducts online services through her website www.judytorel.com. Her office is located in Planet Fitness, Loudonville. She is also a competing triathlete who is currently training for Ironman, Florida.

2009: Resolve to make it a great career year

By Dan Moran

Over the past few months, we have been deluged with news - news about our economy, jobs and more--news that has been very upsetting to many, and has raised a level of fear that I have never seen in my 20+ years of working with people in career transition. Fear is the great immobilizer. It stops people dead in their tracks. It affects personal and business results. It hurts relationships. It hurts one's confidence.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in the bad news - and to let that same news hold you back from looking forward with promise and from looking back to celebrate what you have achieved in 2008. It is so very important to "get above the noise" and make a careful reflection of where you have been and where you want to be - and then take positive, forward action to make it happen--action that is driven by a set of goals that you can measure to keep you on track.

How do you "get above the noise"?
Look back over 2008. Yes, you may have lost money in your 401K or other investments. Things may have changed in your workplace. Perhaps you feel your job is at risk. These may all be true. Your confidence may have been eroded as a result.
However, at the end of the day, when you look back over 2008 and think forward to the New Year, there are things that no one can take from you; things that you are in total command of.
No one can take away your skills, your experience, your education, your accomplishments or your passion.
To get above the noise - control what you can control. Focus on these valued assets and let the other things take their course. If you keep your focus on attaining your goals and going after what you are truly passionate about, you will move forward. You cannot change history - you cannot change what has happened over the past year - so let it go.

Above the "Noise"? What's next?
1. Resolve to grow: If you are at the point in your career--when you know you are not passionate about what you do and you just go through the day-to-day, resolve to grow and take action to make this happen.
2. Plan to grow: You may have heard the quote, "You cannot manage what you cannot measure." Having a clearly defined plan for your career or job change is critical - a plan that is inclusive of:
a. Getting an answer to the big question - what do I want to do in my career? It is very important that you have clear direction, clarity and focus on what you want to do in your career. If you can't answer the question for yourself, get help from a career counselor. Without clarity, focus and direction, it will be almost impossible to move forward.
b. Timeline - Set a timeline, a definite date when you will make a move to a new job or career is important as well.
c. Tactics - With your direction and timeline, put the tactical tools in place. Update your resume and be sure it sells your skills talents and abilities. Create a list of contacts you want to get in touch with in your network. Research the ideal companies you want to work for. Create your online social network through LinkedIn, Facebook or other social networking sites. If you find you are having trouble putting this strategy and the tools together, again, get help.

Your attention to planning, as well as your ability to get above all the negative news is critical and will allow you to make 2009 a great year in your life!
Dan Moran is president & founder of Next-Act, a career management & transition firm located in Colonie. He specializes in helping people make career choices and seek new jobs. He is also a Certified Facilitator for Get Hired Now! and Get Clients Now! Programs, which help those in career transition and companies get results. You can reach him at 641.8968 or dmoran@next-act.com or visit www.next-act.com.

Boys will be … men … maybe

By Ed. Lange

Scruffy the Wonder Dog and I took a walk in the woods in late autumn. The trees had long since shed their shawls in anticipation of the coming winter, leaving a crunchy, rustling blanket of dead brown leaves for us to tromp through. Limbs, boughs and branches reached this way and that, making an intricate latticework silhouetted against a mournful gray sky.

My little buddy, the gray and brown terrier mutt, and I happened upon two large man-made mounds of dirt, or more accurately, boy-made mounds of dirt spaced about six-feet apart in the middle of a path. Bicycle tracks on these mounds hinted at their being ramps for making airborne bike jumps, and a broken, twisted bicycle a little farther along the path confirmed my Sherlockian deduction.

“Hmph,” I thought. “Pretty crazy thing to do, isn’t it Scruff?” But he didn’t care. He was busily smelling things that I had no whiff of. Along with the broken bike, I envisioned broken ankles, wrists, collarbones, and Heaven forbid, necks. Why would boys take such foolhardy risks? Then I hmphed again as I remembered my own foolhardy teen years, and asked myself...

How do boys ever survive to adulthood?
While Scruffy romped and chased who knows what scent, I sat down on a fallen log to ponder the bicycle ramps and my own leaps into potential teenage hazards – hazards that increased in recklessness as I grew older, but no wiser. My junior high school buddies and I never thought twice about the risks we took with our BB gun wars. We climbed high rocky cliffs in the summer and those same cliffs covered with ice and snow in the winter, never considering we could break something essential in a place far removed from help. We rode heifers bareback, jumped off waterfalls into small pools of water, climbed stupidly high into trees and up mountains in the winter. We made a long canoe trip on a body of water that could challenge the seaworthiness of a much larger craft. We made gunpowder and blew cans sky high. We went hunting with shotguns, large caliber rifles, bow and arrow and hunting knives. We rode our single-speed bicycles without helmets, careening down steep hills at breakneck speed while hoping no cars were coming. We spelunked into undeveloped caves (where death has occurred since) carrying only a flashlight as we crawled underground through mud and cold running water.

And we drove cars. Undoubtedly one of the most perilous activities of all for teenage boys. But as we all know, teenage boys are invulnerable and immortal, which accounts for why they can also be so fearless and reckless. We were no different. Not only were these our years of no wisdom, they were also the years of no seatbelts, no airbags, a drinking age of 18, songs on the AM radio such as “Thunder Road” and “Dead Man’s Curve”, the television hit, “Route 66” and the legacy of James Dean and “Rebel Without a Cause”. As I looked back in time, I wondered what angel sheltered us with its wings – especially as some of us served in the military and went off to war.

Too often, boys don’t survive to adulthood
The fact of the matter is simple. Many boys don’t survive to adulthood. We rage – rightly – at the loss of 4,000 of our best and brightest over the course of several years of war, but we somehow seem to accept the death of many more thousands of young males at home as “the cost of doing business” or something. According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), males of every age, from birth to age 80, die at a disproportionate rate to females. But, the numbers are most extreme among our young people.

In the United States in 2005, more than 25,500 young men aged 15 to 24 died as compared with just over 8,700 young women. Nearly three to one.
How did the young men die? Most, more than 60 percent, were killed by what the CDC terms “unintentional injury”. Motor vehicle accidents, unintentional poisonings (most from drug overdoses), falls, drownings, fires and so on. Another 20 percent, more than 5,000, died as a result of homicide, and more than 4,000 took their own lives. That’s in one year alone – not across several years of war – but in only one year, at home. And these figures, these deaths of our young men, are repeated year after year after year. Each and every year, more than 25,000 of our sons die from accidents, homicide and suicide, never reaching adulthood. Those are the top three causes of death for both young men and young women. But an equally astonishing truth is this: when considering the next seven causes of death (cancer, heart disease, respiratory illness, HIV, etc.), their combined total accounts still do no not equal the number of suicides of young people aged 15 to 24.

Young men and boys are different from the rest of us
Health advocates have done a superb job of informing the public that heart disease is the number one killer, and that cancer follows closely behind. Across the total population, those two account for nearly half of all deaths in the United States. But for our young sons, those causes barely appear on their mortality radar. While the general population is wise to address heart disease and cancer as major concerns, if young men were in charge (and aware of the facts), the drums would beat much more loudly for the prevention of premature violent death.

However, young men are notoriously oblivious of their own mortality. So it falls to us – we who fortunately have survived to adulthood—to take up the flag on their behalf. Let young men know that drinking and driving a car is the single most dangerous thing they can do in their life, and let them know that the danger increases with each additional teenager riding in the vehicle. Listen to them when they try – in their halting, insecure way – to convey feelings of pain, fear and sadness. Encourage them in every way possible to avoid any involvement with illegal drugs, which can lead to overdoses and are often connected to homicides.

We want our sons to be strong, independent and self-reliant. Fine. But it’s possible that closer involvement in their lives and deeper heart-to-heart communication with them – awkward as it may be at times – will help them survive through some pretty dangerous years.
Ed. Lange is grateful that against all odds he was able to survive his dangerous years, and wishes with all his heart that all of his buddies had, too. Unfortunately, too many of them did not, and the world is a lesser place because of it.

A freelance writer, three of Ed Lange’s plays were finalists for national Audie Awards, in 2000, ’05, and ’07, and one of the three won. His articles have appeared multiple times in national magazines: Sail, Soundings, American Theatre, and Dramatics.

Parenting on purpose

By Alison Molea-LaVigne, LCSW-R

During this time of resolution-making, consider giving your teen a trust fund. I’m not talking about the Wall Street-invested kind that has lately lost 40 or 50 percent of its value. I’m talking about an investment that will pay dividends for you and your family, today and in the future; one that will help you leave a lasting legacy. Resolve to make an investment in your relationship with your teen.

There is a direct correlation between the amount of respect you get from your children and how bonded you are with them. By "bonded" I do not mean "BFF's". I mean the extent to which you and your teen relate positively to one another, as human beings. If you have a teen who has been lying, stealing, cutting class or doing drugs (or all of the above), you may be exhausted and disgusted and have an intense urge to reject them. You may have become critical and judgmental and have low expectations for your teenager's chance for success. Arguing is frequent and hostile and may have been occurring for months, even years. If you work full-time and/or are a single parent, your resources are further limited, the most important one being time.

If this is the case, do not lose hope, no matter how dire you believe the circumstances to be. But, be fore-warned: reclaiming your child and repairing your relationship can only happen if first you change your approach, attitude, expectations and reactions, not the other way around. Jon Kabat-Zinn in his book Everyday Blessings discusses the strategy of “mindful parenting”. Mindful parenting is intentional parenting, using your looks and words and gestures on purpose when it comes to interacting with your children, instead of the "knee-jerk" responses which come so easily.

In 2009, you may want to add these tips to your list of resolutions as you set out to "parent on purpose":

1. Own up to your part
Look your teen in the eye. Tell them that something is not working in your relationship and you want to find a different way. Tell them exactly what is in your heart; that you miss the way you used to get along and you want to get it back. Tell them you are worried about the choices they are making, but that you want to be on their side, not the one they hide things from. Tell them you are working on changing. Parenting on purpose means being loving while disciplining; targeting a teen’s behavior, not self-esteem. Apologize, if this is the case, and move on.

2. Practice under-reacting
Know that all you have control over is your reaction to your teen. End of story. Whether the issue is the dishes not being done or a failing grade due to not handing in homework, how you respond will directly make or break your relationship. As much as you can, speak calmly and sincerely. A good rule of thumb, in the words of financial guru Suze Orman, is to ask yourself, "Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?" before you open your mouth. If what you have to say is not all three things, stay quiet until you figure out how to make it so. Try your best to go against your natural urges to yell, accuse, argue, hold grudges and/or storm off. Remember, the sum of your interactions with your teen to date has most likely involved a great deal of nagging and criticizing. Flip the script. Your teen will listen longer and less defensively.

3. Step away from the mood
All too often we hang onto our child's mood. When they are happy and pleasant, we follow suit. When they are grouchy and bitter, we make it personal, and lecture about how much we do for them and how non-appreciative they are. We let them change our mood from pleasant to sour.
A better strategy is to welcome, even embrace your teen's mood (especially upon waking and arriving home from school). Next, ignore that mood and go about your day. When/if your teen snaps out of it, greet them warmly. If not, continue ignoring. They'll come around, so don't make the mistake of feeding a bad mood with one in return. Teens often have no idea what the cause of their mood is - let it run its course.

4. Expect more of the same
If your teen is in a downward spiral (declining academics, increased drug use, poor choice of peers), realize there is nothing you can immediately do to change what is in motion. Realize there will be fallout from decisions that have been made up to this point. Perhaps there are things you do not know about that will alarm you. (Refer to #2 as often as needed).

5. Ready, set, bond
Recall what you used to bond over. Get creative about out what you can bond over now. Make a list and keep it close. You might need it sooner than you think.

Alison Molea-LaVigne is a clinical social worker in private practice. She works with individuals, families, couples, teens and children on a wide range of issues. She is also an independent consultant for Synergy Counseling Associates in Albany and can be contacted at amolealavigne@gmail.com or 222.7613.

Winter weekend getaways
Saratoga, Lake George and Vermont

Union Gables Bed & Breakfast, Saratoga Springs

Winter rates range from $140-$165

By Ciara McCann

You don’t have to travel far to find one of the most relaxing places to escape from everyday stress. Saratoga Springs is not only host to world-class performances and thoroughbred horses, but it is also home to one of the best hidden treasures—Union Gables Bed & Breakfast on Union Avenue, just steps away from the Saratoga Race Track.

Once known for its mineral springs and for being the hot spot for the fashionable elite, Saratoga is still one of the most popular destinations in the Capital Region. It is seen as a revitalization of the past and a center for culture, education and entertainment, and Union Gables stands as a gem in the midst of it all.

Located just minutes away from the bustle of activity that is Broadway in downtown Saratoga, Union Gables is breathtaking at first glance. It is a brilliant Queen Anne style Victorian home built in 1901 by R. Newton Bresee who designed many homes in this style throughout Saratoga. At 11,500 square feet, the Inn has a total of 21 rooms and three fireplaces.

Originally built for Charles Furness, owner of the Glens Falls Times, the home was also used by Skidmore College as a girl’s dormitory for 34 years until the new campus was built. The building was then used as a group home for 17 years before becoming a bed and breakfast in 1992.
Upon pulling up to the beautiful mansion, I was immediately gripped by the spacious wrap-around porch that held comfy-looking deck chairs, perfect for lazily sipping coffee in the morning and for socializing in warmer months. The garden area to the side of the house also stood out. With its charming fountain and ample room, I learned it’s a popular spot for wedding ceremonies and parties, which the B&B regularly hosts.

My quickly developing admiration of the mansion only intensified after walking through the front double doors. I instantly felt a sense of comfort as the roaring fireplaces, antique furniture and soft lighting blended together to make me feel cozy and welcome.

I didn’t know where to look first - with a fireplace in front of me, a grand staircase and billiard room to my left, and parlor and living room to my right - it was as if I had walked into another century. The old-fashioned couch and chairs were lived-in and comfy, yet were still in impressive condition, and the Tiffany lamps and marble archways added an elegance that made me eager to keep exploring.

After an introduction with the innkeeper and co-owner, Thom VanGelder, my boyfriend and I headed upstairs to the Edward room. Each room at Union Gables is named after a different member of the first innkeeper’s family. VanGelder said they have kept the names the same out of respect, and also because they have become popular among guests, as many like to stay in the room that they share a name with.

The room was very large and open, and true to the Victorian nature of the rest of the Inn. A king size bed, a beautiful armoire, an antique dressing table and a large desk made up the furniture. A closet with a mini-fridge and an attached bathroom completed the space, which felt more like a personal suite.
I had the sense, not only just in our room, but throughout the house, of feeling at home. My boyfriend agreed. We didn’t feel like we were staying at a stuffy hotel, more like we were staying with family or close friends. Personal touches like a jewelry box on the dressing table, antique portraits on the walls and a chess set by the fireplace in the living room all lent themselves to the calming atmosphere.

VanGelder, co-owner of the B&B for two-and-a-half years, said this is something they pride themselves on: treating guests like members of the family. Many of their guests include couples with children and pets, which they allow to stay in the house (something many other B&B’s do not offer). They even have special kid-friendly rooms like the Cindy, which has an attached room with twin beds so the kids can have a separate space. VanGelder said guests feel so comfortable that it’s not unusual for them to come downstairs in pajamas to sit by the fire or to have breakfast in the morning.

This brings me to another highlight of my stay - the food. I knew I was going to be served breakfast, but what I didn’t expect was the quality of breakfast. We were met both mornings with a platter of coffee, teas and juice, which we enjoyed in front of the fireplace. Alongside fresh fruit and homemade corn muffins, we were treated to a spinach, potato and cheese frittata one morning, and cinnamon swirl French toast and sausage the other, all of which VanGelder cooked himself.

Aside from a delicious start to the day, VanGelder also puts out warm cookies in the evening on most days and offers a hot morning dish in the winter for “comfort food.”
During track season, when the Inn is busiest, “track dinners” have become popular for guests who make the short trip back after a day of races for quality food and company.

While we were certainly tempted to sit by the fireplace all weekend, we couldn’t visit such an historic city and not check out its culture. Since it was a brisk weekend, we decided to entertain ourselves indoors. Saratoga is loaded with museums: the National Museum of Dance, the National Museum of Racing, the Saratoga Springs History Museum, the Saratoga Automobile Museum on the grounds of the Spa State Park and Skidmore College’s Tang Teaching Museum and Art Gallery. We chose to check out the latter two.

We were thrilled to visit the Auto Museum during its exhibit of Brass Era antique cars, which runs until March 22. My favorite, a 1915 Ford Model T Calliope Wagon, not only filled the museum with music, but was once used for traveling amusement shows and in the circus.
After inspecting the roadsters, which are works of art themselves, we stopped by the nearby Tang Teaching Museum on the Skidmore campus to check out the work of students alongside more seasoned artists. Dario Robleto’s exhibit “Alloy of Love” was on display, mixing influences from music and military history. I found the array of materials used in his artwork quiet interesting, ranging from shrapnel and bullets found on battlefields to melted vinyl records and the dust of human bones.

There are dozens of restaurants to choose from in Saratoga, all a short car or taxi ride away from the B&B. On the recommendation of VanGelder, we checked out Dine on Henry Street, just off of Broadway. Serving French, Italian and American dishes, Dine was a wonderful ending to a day of touring. I highly recommend the pasta, peas, sage and prosciutto dish. The restaurant, perfect for a special evening out, is a very small place, so I would suggest making a reservation for any groups larger than two.

There are plenty of things to do in Saratoga this time of year, and when staying at Union Gables you’ll be right in the heart of the action. Just minutes from downtown shopping, Congress Park, the Farmer’s Market, and with Chowderfest coming in February, there’s no better time to make this spot your local winter getaway destination.

Union Gables Bed & Breakfast is located at 55 Union Avenue, Saratoga Springs. For more information call 584.1558 or visit www.uniongables.com.

West Mountain Inn, Vermont

Winter rates: Midweek rates range between $175-$225.Weekend rates range from $210-$310.Great specials are available on their website.

By Mary Beth Galarneau

Pack a sweater and a good book and head to West Mountain Inn in Arlington, Vermont for an idyllic winter weekend getaway. Here, you will spend a relaxing weekend surrounded by friendly staff, beautiful vistas and warm fires, while feasting on mouth-watering food.

My husband and I recently ventured out to the Inn on an early winter’s evening. Though it’s a quick 50-mile drive from the Capital Region, we felt far removed from the hustle and bustle of our lives. In fact, as soon as we arrived, we knew that we had come upon a winter dreamland, a soft, sprawling homestead snuggled in the side of a mountain, its dancing lights welcoming us into its’ warmth.

Upon our arrival, we were greeted by Amie Emmons, who owns and operates the inn with her husband. After exchanging homespun pleasantries, Emmons led us on a brief tour of the downstairs, which features a spacious living room with a wood-burning stove, a game room, a bar/lounge area with a television, and a wood-paneled dining area where breakfast and dinner are served. She also guided us to a little nook where we were invited to help ourselves to warm drinks and cookies any time of day.

After the tour, we were shown up to our room; with each creak in our steps reminding us just how old the charming Inn was. Originally built as a farmhouse in 1849, the Inn was eventually established as a mill from 1880 to 1920 before undergoing renovations in the 1920s that transformed the old farmhouse into an elegant vacation spot. It was during this time that Ned and Gwendolyn Rochester purchased the house, enlarged it and added the seven gables that serve as a prominent feature of the structure today. The Rochesters also dotted the mountainside with barns and small cottages, and crisscrossed the hillside with pastoral stone walls and fences reminiscent of a Robert Frost poem. After the Rochesters, a succession of people resided at the estate until 1978, when Wes and Mary Ann Carlson purchased it in the hopes of creating a country haven or, better yet, a country inn. To the delight of my husband and I, they did both. Emmons, Mary Ann’s daughter, has continued that tradition.

The Carlson’s notion of a country haven was evident the moment we stepped into our room. Hailed as “one of the most romantic rooms in the Inn,” the Rockwell Kent Suite is commonly used as the honeymoon suite. One step inside and we could see why. This extremely spacious suite has a large living room with a wood-burning fireplace, a king-sized canopied bed and three chairs and a sofa perfect for curling up to with a good book. A unique feature of the room is the small loft above the bathroom, which featured a twin bed and is accessible only by an attached ladder. It must be a child’s delight!

Because dinner was served before 8:30, we sauntered downstairs at 7:30, hungry for a home-style meal. We weren’t disappointed. Surrounded by three other couples in the softly-lit wood-paneled dining room that has also has a fireplace to keep you warm on those cold Vermont nights, we were invited to feast on a five-course meal for a prix fixe of $42, but opted to order ala carte. We whetted our appetites with warm rolls and salad before our entrees, prepared by Chef Jeff Scott, arrived: filet mignon for my husband, a pasta dish for myself. Chef Scott uses only the freshest ingredients: local, organic produce, free-range meats and poultry, seasonal game, local cheeses and dairy products, fresh-daily fish and home-baked breads, pastries and desserts.

Having retired early that evening, my husband and I awoke to a sparkling frost and a deep chill. With the light of day, we enjoyed the wonderful view of the mountains and the barn where the alpacas are kept before heading downstairs for breakfast. One of the best parts of staying at the Inn is the breakfasts, and since our dinner had been so delicious, we knew breakfast would be a treat. But be warned: you had better bring a hearty appetite with you, because you will be served a multi-course meal beginning with a plate of homemade muffins and followed by your choice of omelets, pancakes or even, if you desire, dessert! (In this case, it was apple pie). A bit unadventurous with my breakfast selection, I enjoyed scrambled eggs and a slice of toast, while my husband indulged in pancakes bursting with fruit. So absorbed was he in his meal that scarcely a word passed between us during the main course!

With our stomachs full, we were eager to begin our day. There are many things to do without ever having to leave the property, such as snowshoeing, hiking or sitting by the fire and relaxing. Or, you can venture to neighboring towns such as Manchester to tour Hildene, the home of Robert Todd Lincoln, or stay closer to the Inn and go alpine skiing at Statton Mountain or tubing at Bromley Mountain. There is also the Chiselville Covered Bridge in East Arlington, which has been featured in several movies, as well as the small Norman Rockwell exhibit down the road in Arlington. Of course, there’s also shopping at world-class outlet stores in Manchester, which is where my husband and I headed after our breakfast.

Upon our return to the Inn, we went to our room and relaxed with books that we had purchased in town. Around six, we headed down to the bar to enjoy the complimentary artisan cheese selection and fresh fruit.

At dinner that evening, we enjoyed another phenomenal meal. I had chick pea patties served over spinach. My husband enjoyed prime rib served over mashed potatoes and a vegetable. I saved room for dessert this time, and shared a delicious chocolate mousse with my husband.

The next morning brought another downfall of snow, so we quickly enjoyed another hearty breakfast before descending slowly down the mountain, back to reality. But as we slowly drove away, I found myself casting backwards glances, excited for the next time we visit our new home away from home.

West Mountain Inn in located on River Road in Arlington, VT. For more information call 802.375.6516 or visit www.westmountaininn.com. Lodging is also available in the Cottage in the Pines and the Historic Mill Building.

Fort William Henry, Lake George

Winter rates range from $90-$300

By Rebecca Eppelmann

For a multitude of reasons, people from all over the country travel to Lake George, a premier travel destination. In the summer, streets bustle with locals and tourists who eat, shop, swim and go boating. The autumn season invites leaf peepers from all over to take in the brilliant foliage. But, during the winter, when the lake is frozen over and the cold weather demands layers of clothing, visitors are welcomed to experience a whole new side of Lake George with a getaway to the Fort William Henry Resort.

During a recent visit to the Resort, my boyfriend and I passed the familiar scene of shoppers at the Lake George outlets on Route 9, and within a few miles had reached Fort William Henry Resort. A tall, stoic white building at the southern end of Lake George, it makes you feel as if you’ve stumbled into another century. Fort William Henry was constructed just two years before the French and Indian War. The French overtook the Fort in battle and controlled it from November 1755 to August 1757.

Situated next to the Fort, the Resort was originally built in the mid-1800s and grew to 1,000 rooms. In 1909 it burnt to the ground and was rebuilt in 1911 as the first fireproof hotel in the US. By the 1960s, the building was out-of-date and in such disrepair that a significant portion of the 1911 building was torn down and the replica, which currently stands, was built in 2003. With such a rich, long history, you don’t have to be a history buff to be subtly immersed by it.

Step inside the hotel and its pristine exterior is matched in beauty and comfort. Once inside the set of glass doors, it’s hard to say which greets you first - the friendly staff or the sight of the beautiful common area. Then again, for some, it just may be the coffee sitting by the registration desk that will immediately help take away the winter chill.

The common area was unlike anything I’ve seen at any other Lake George hotel. Complete with luxurious couches and leather chairs, the room was filled with deep, rich colors of maroon, hunter green and golden hues. Wooden end tables were covered in paisley fabric matching the color scheme, and in true holiday spirit, stockings were hung over the fireplace with a beautifully decorated Christmas tree nearby.

After checking in, we went to our room to settle in. Our second-floor mini-suite had simple, yet beautiful décor with colors similar to the common area, and a breathtaking moonlit view of Lake George. There was a king size bed, a table for four, a gas fireplace and amenities such as a microwave, coffee maker and refrigerator. The furniture in the room was all dark wood, adding to the inviting, cozy feel.

Though not open during the winter months, the Fort William Henry museum does offer visitors more information on the history of the Fort, along with tours of local ghostly haunts.

The first morning of our stay, we awoke to the sun shining brilliantly upon Lake George. Having checked in after dark the previous evening, we were able to appreciate the view for what it truly was. Separating us from the lake was an expansive lawn. There was a covered in-ground pool and sparsely-placed trees acted as a playground for squirrels, who were busy carrying food from one to the other. From our window, the lake seemed to have gone on forever, with both sides surrounded with trees. Alongside the hotel is a path on which bundled-up people briskly walked.

Part of what makes the Fort William Henry Resort so much different from other lodging in the area is the land on which is sits. Drive down the main drag of Lake George Village and you’ll see hotels and motels separated by little more than a parking lot. The Resort, on the other hand, sits of 18 acres. During the winter, Director of Marketing Ida Williams says it’s not uncommon to see children and families outside making snowmen on the lawn.

Breakfast was served in the dining area and consisted of a continental breakfast of waffles, scrambled eggs, Danish and a variety of beverages. A perfect winter breakfast, the food was delectable. From where we sat, four large windows spanning nearly the entire length of a wall gave a different view of the lake. Under beautiful trees sat white lawn chairs and a white gazebo, in which couples are married during warmer months. More historic reminders were hanging on the walls, including crossed muskets and drum halves hanging.

Activities abound in and around Lake George during the winter months. Whether it’s skiing at Gore Mountain, taking a guided snowmobile tour, ice skating, night tubing at West Mountain or being pampered in the luxury of your hotel room courtesy of a local spa, you certainly won’t lack options. There is also an indoor pool, hot tub and full-size workout room, should you want to avoid the brisk winter air. For my boyfriend and me, a trip into town for some holiday shopping at the outlets was on the agenda. Though brisk, it gave us the opportunity to embrace the fresh air.

After a day of shopping, we had dinner at the Log Jam, on the recommendation of Williams. Nestled behind the outlets, the single-story restaurant is hard to miss if you’re not paying attention, but it’s easily one of my new favorite restaurants. Resembling a log cabin, if it weren’t for the sign atop the building, you may actually confuse it for a residence. If you’re planning on visiting, be sure to make a reservation.

The last day of our visit, we awoke to snow falling lightly outside, which made the picturesque view worthy of a holiday card. Open, for the most part, only on weekends during the winter, Fort William Henry is the perfect place to visit on your trip to Lake George. Whether you’re looking to escape from the cold winter weather or want to enjoy fun winter activities, the beautiful and luxurious Fort William Henry is there to please.

Fort William Henry Resort Hotel and Conference Center is located at 48 Canada Street, Lake George. For more information call 668.3081 or visit www.fortwilliamhenry.com.

Kids and skiing

By Bill Clapper

Put out of your mind the negatives you’ve heard about skiing: the danger (you’ll break a leg); the cold weather (you’ll freeze your face); the hassle (it’s an expedition, not a vacation); the cost (it’s too expensive). Instead, embrace the attitude that introducing your family to skiing is a healthy lifestyle activity that promotes family bonding.

Skiing and other winter activities are vitally important for children’s health. Media reports tell us that children are becoming more sedentary and that obesity is an epidemic. Fran Mullin, executive director of WinterKids, a Maine-based non-profit organization that promotes healthy lifestyles through outdoor winter activities, offers statistics that show one in three American children are overweight or obese. In the past 30 years, the percentage of preschoolers and teenagers who are obese has tripled, and the percentage of children aged 6 to 11 who are obese has quadrupled.

Physical activity levels for both boys and girls are significantly lower in the winter, compared with the other seasons. The overriding reason is obvious – kids are not exposed to outdoor play once the weather turns cold. Introducing children to skiing is a way to increase their wintertime activity and lessen their opportunities to put on pounds.

Check out the resort
Visit a ski area for a day to get a feel for the energy and see how the area is run. Schedule lunch in the lodge to get an idea of how the cafeteria operates and what it is like to be in a ski lodge during a busy time.

A non-skiing day will give you and your children a perspective of the off-snow experiences associated with skiing. The sight of other children having fun and playing in the snow goes a long way toward convincing a tentative or reluctant child that skiing is fun.

For parents, an information-gathering visit is invaluable. You can observe the ski school and watch how the instructors interact with the children. Is it a fun, learning atmosphere? Are the kids smiling and laughing? Does the school have programs for children of different ages and abilities? Are the programs and personnel kid-friendly?

Within a 90-minute drive of Albany are many excellent places to start your family’s skiing adventure. Skiable mountains can be found in the Catskills, Adirondacks, Berkshires and Vermont.

Gore Mountain, in North Creek, NY, takes its role as a family destination seriously. The Northwoods Lodge by Lincoln Logs is in its second year and it is a one-stop shopping experience for families, says Gore Marketing Manager Emily Stanton.
“All the kids programs, rentals, day care, snow sports school and adult (and big kids) learning programs are under one roof,” said Stanton.

Professional instruction
Once you decide to introduce your family to skiing, leave the teaching to the pros. Place your child in an age appropriate program and make it clear that it is a school. Instead of classrooms and books, they will be outdoors and learn with skis and boots.

“We recommend parents put their kids in children’s programs,” says Don Edwards, executive vice president of Catamount Ski Area, South Egremont, Mass. “They will be more comfortable with their peers – kids their own age and ability.”

Edwards is convinced children learn better when they are in structured programs. “The children listen more intently to the instructor than they would a parent,” says Edwards “They watch and learn from each other.”

At Windham Mountain, Windham, NY, there is no stress, no pressure and the emphasis is on fun for children and parents. The Children’s Learning Center takes children from age 2 and up offers indoor as well as outdoor activities including learn-to-ski or -snowboard, group and private lessons, day or season-long programs.

“We tell parents to go out and have fun and leave their kids with us,” said Joan Oldknow, Windham spokesperson. Oldknow and the Windham teaching staff concur that teaching your children is not a good idea.

“It puts more pressure on the kids if parents teach,” said Oldknow. “Children are more receptive to the sport when they are in a program with other kids.”
At Mount Snow, West Dover, VT, parents can “kiss the kids goodbye in the morning and pick them up in the late afternoon,” said Joe Hanzalik, director of the ski and snowboard school.

“Basically, it is all-day day care.” Mount Snow takes children as young as 3 in their Cub Camp and has programs for children up to age 14.
If you don’t ski or snowboard, there still are ways to have fun at Mount Snow. Snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, a full-service luxury spa and shopping in Manchester are a few of the options.

Dress and rent for success
It is important that your little ones be comfortable while they are outdoors. Think layers and synthetic, breathable fabrics in clothing. You want durable garments that will perform well in extreme conditions, keep your children warm, dry and comfortable. Sweatshirts and jeans don’t cut it. Check with your local ski shop or outdoor store for appropriate clothing.

The equipment issue can be solved by renting or leasing. In the beginning, it is not wise to buy new equipment for children. They will outgrow their gear in a season or less, which means another round of purchases.

The best course for first-time skiers is to rent at the ski area. Rental shops are staffed with pros who help beginning skiers every day. The equipment is built for the rental market and tuned for that particular mountain. If you prefer personal attention, rent or lease equipment from your local ski shop. You can also have your child try on boots and handle skis at the shop so they know what to expect when they go to a ski area.

Don’t forget No. 1
If this is your first time skiing, or you haven’t skied in a while, get into a lesson program yourself. You will be amazed at how quickly you can pick up the sport and how much fun it is to laugh and play in the snow. Not only will you be able to share the skiing experience with your children, but chances are you will get in touch with your inner child and revel in the joy and freedom of sliding on snow.

Bill Clapper is a nationally known ski journalist and former ski instructor who introduced his children and now his grandchildren to skiing. wjclapper@verizon.net.

Winter beer guide

By Alissa Lubanski

"There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking."
–Ben Franklin

With the holidays behind us, it’s time to settle into the long, cold winter season, making it easier to stay in (or should I say, more difficult to motivate ourselves to go out!). Instead of enjoying that after-work cocktail at the bar, why not cozy up with a fine winter beer in the comfort of your own home, perhaps in front of the fire?

Beer with a higher ABV (alcohol by volume) has always been popular for the winter season. These winter brews generally exhibit complex aromas and flavors, such as chocolate, caramel, and coffee, as well as hints of herbs, spices and fruits. Larry Bennett, of Brewery Ommegang, in Cooperstown said that some make for good dessert beers, “typically pairing well with chocolate desserts or caramelized desserts.”

Below is a list of our favorite winter beers. Some can be enjoyed as a session beer (meaning, you can drink a few of them over the course of an evening because they are under 6 percent ABV) while others, such as Samichlaus, have a higher ABV so should be sipped and savored— and not imbibed in excess during one sitting. “Winter warmers are meant for sipping beside the fireplace, after skiing or even post-wood-chopping,” said Bennet.

May the winter season bring fun, excitement, and reason to celebrate with winter beer!

Samichlaus (14% ABV)
According to the Guinness Book of Records, Samichlaus is the strongest lager in the world. This rich, aged doppelbock brewed at the Austrian brewery Schloss Eggenberg is aged over a 10-month period producing a sweet, malty and deliciously strong beer!
Where to find: Oliver’s Beverage Center, Albany

Scaldis Noël (12% ABV)
A rich Belgian dark ale with lots of malt and complex yeast aromas. The practice of aging with hops flowers for four to six weeks gives this brew its unique flavor.
Where to find: Westmere Beverage Center, Albany

Ommegang’s Chocolate Indulgence (7% ABV)
A Belgian-style stout brewed right at Brewery Ommegang in Cooperstown. The chocolatey and malty richness of this beer renders it a delicious dessert in a bottle!
Where to find: Delmar Beverage Center, Delmar

Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale (6.8 % ABV)
Dry hopping results in a generous bouquet of hops. Add to that the rich roasted malts, and you have a balanced and robust winter ale.
Where to find: Minogue’s Beverage Center, Saratoga

Samuel Smiths Winter Welcome (6% ABV)
This honey-amber-colored ale has a floral aroma and delicious malt flavor with hints of caramel and spice.
Where to find: Beer Belly Bob’s, Waterford

Brooklyn Winter Ale (6% ABV)
A copper-colored Scottish-style ale with deep bready flavors. Brisk hopping brings malts into balance for a deliciously complex beer.
Where to find: Kinderhook Beverage Center, Valatie

Stone Smoked Porter (5.9% ABV)
Chocolate and coffee flavors are balanced by hints of peat-smoked specialty malt in this smooth mahogany-colored ale.
Where to find: Beverage Barn, Troy

Samuel Adams Winter Lager (5.8% ABV)
A deep brown lager with sweet malted barley, hints of cinnamon, ginger and citrus. Also, check out the Samuel Adams Winter Mix Pack (with Boston Lager, Old Fezziwig Ale, Winter Lager, Holiday Porter, Black Lager, Cranberry Lambic) for a variety of good seasonal brews.
Where to find: Almost all beverage centers, Price Choppers, and Hannafords

Harpoon Winter Warmer (5.9% ABV)
A copper ale with medium body formed from caramel and pale malts, with hints of spices, such as cinnamon and nutmeg. The special blend of hops balances the sweetness of the malt and spice.
Where to find: Union Beverage Center, Schenectady

Rogue Yellow Snow IPA (5.5%t ABV)
Introduced for the 2000 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, this golden-colored beer, with hoppy, fruity aromas and a lingering bitterness, makes a great after-ski session beer.
Where to find: Glenmont Beverage Center, Glenmont

Redhook Winterhook (5.5%ABV)
This deep chestnut-colored beer boasts nine varieties of malts, and is combined with four hop charged for a well-rounded beer with hints of chocolate and caramel.
Where to find: Savemore Discount Beverage Center, Clifton Park

Orlando & Las Vegas

Non-stop fun destinations

By Linda McClain, CTA

Are thoughts of airline cancellations and misconnecting flights keeping your winter travel plans grounded this year? Reminder, Capital Region: Southwest Airlines has non-stop flights available to Orlando and Las Vegas! Do you refuse to pay baggage fees and cancellation penalties? Consider flying Southwest and avoid both.

Gateway to your imagination
Both Orlando and Las Vegas are tourism giants. While Orlando is the prestigious residence of Mickey Mouse; Vegas boasts nine of the largest hotels in the country. Both destinations offer power–packed diversity that make people want to come back.

Weather
Four month weather averages for Orlando: January 70 high, 49 low; February 73 high, 50 low; March 78 high, 56 low; April 83 high, 60 low.
Four month weather averages for Las Vegas: January 58 high, 39 low; February 61 high, 41 low; March 71 high, 49 low; April 77 high, 55 low.

The great outdoors - Orlando
To help you pre-plan your trip, order an Orlando Preferred Magicard and Visitor Guide. They are free by request at www.orlandoinfo.com.
Unless you are staying at Walt Disney World or Universal Studios, you’ll require a rental car to get the most out of your stay. If you’re looking for a different Orlando visit, here are a few unique options:
Wallaby Hang-gliding Flight Park - Tandem free fly from a height of 2,000 feet for 15-20 minutes. For the young and young at heart. www.wallaby.com
Sky Venture Orlando - Put on a bodysuit, get instruction and learn to fly within an air chamber at 125 mph. Fun and safe. www.skyventureorlando.com
Orvis Two Day Fly Fishing School - Board a hyde drift boat on Shingle Pond, Grand Lakes. The guided excursions include your chance to reel in trophy largemouth bass. www.grandelakes.com
Richard Petty Driving Experience - Experience real racecar thrills as you ride shotgun in a two-seat NASCAR style car. Professional driver companion goes three laps up to 165 mph. www.1800bepetty.com
Green tees anyone? Orlando has 176 golf courses to choose from.
Birding - Over 150 bird species can be viewed in Orlando Wetlands Park.
Antique shops - The Orlando area is a hidden treasure for antique collectors. Outstanding values and selection can be found here.

Unique dinner suggestions
Sleuths Mystery Dinner Shows - Enjoy a 2.5-hour comedy mystery. Eat, drink and be merry while you help solve the crime. www.sleuths.com
Ragland Road Authentic Irish Pub - Located in Downtown Disney Pleasure Island, Raglands oozes the authentic ambiance of Ireland. From delicious Irish dinner selections, and jiggy Irish beers, you’ll be singing and smiling your way through the night.
Have a great vacation in the Orlando area!

The Great Indoors -Vegas
Slot machines at the airport, really? Expect the unexpected in Las Vegas. Where else can you view replicas of The Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty and an Egyptian pyramid within walking distance? You’ll soon discover why Vegas boasts over 32.9 million visitors each year.
Looking for the best vacation package? Prices fluctuate based on the demand of conventions and special events. Sunday-Thursday night packages cost less money than a weekend stay. Based on the season of the year, a popular self-drive vacation includes a 2-3 night Grand Canyon visit with a 3-4 night Vegas stay. Once back in Vegas, a car rental is unnecessary. The Las Vegas strip has an efficient monorail service that operates seven days a week. If you walk, be prepared and bring comfortable shoes.
Getting married? - Vegas is known as the marriage capital of the world. Arrive and get married the same day. Wishing for upscale and grandiose? Your wedding can be as opulent as your budget. Many chapels and hotels offer a variety of ceremony themes that please to personalize. Want to exchange vows on a less serious note? Themed ceremonies can include dressing as Star Trek characters or in medieval costumes.
Magic, music, entertainment
Visit www.lasvegas.com to find headline entertainment featuring legendary performers such as Bette Midler, Barry Manilow, David Copperfield and Brooks and Dunn, to name a few.
It’s bigger and better in Vegas
The Venetian Resort Hotel Casino: A five-star Vegas spin-off of the upscale culture of Venice, Italy, complete with gondola rides, a 120,000 sq. ft. casino, 20 restaurants, upscale retail shops, and elegant fresco ceilings. Discover fun and sun on the five-acre pool deck or visit Canyon Ranch SpaClub. Venetian entertainment includes Blue Man Group and Phantom of the Opera.
Palazzo Resort Hotel & Casino: 50-floor tower with 3,050 luxury suites. The rooms are elegant and spacious and they have garnered a five-star rating. Palazzo entertainment includes the musical, Jersey Boys.
A walkway connects the 4,027 room Venetian to the Palazzo, currently making it the largest hotel complex in the world. www.visitlasvegas.com

Just the facts – Las Vegas
• Las Vegas has more hotel rooms than anywhere else on earth.
• There are no clocks in Vegas casinos.
• 80% of Vegas visitors average two trips a year.
• 89% visitors have a gambling budget of $500.
• 60,000 pounds of shrimp are consumed each day-higher than the rest of the country, combined.
• Approximately 150 couples get married in Vegas each day.
• It would take a person 288 years to stay in each Vegas hotel for one night.

More facts - Orlando
• Orlando attracts more tourists than any other amusement park destination in the United States.
• Over 50 million people visit Orlando each year. Over 2 million are international, most of whom are from the United Kingdom.
• When Disney World opened in 1971, an adult ticket cost $3.50. A seven ride attraction ticket cost $4.75 & an 11 attraction ticket cost $5.75.
• No city in Florida is more than 75 miles from the Atlantic Ocean or Gulf of Mexico.
• Universal Studios is the largest motion picture facility in the country except Hollywood.
• Actress Delta Burke represented Orlando and became Miss Florida in 1974.
• Wishing you a happy, healthy and prosperous new year 2009.

Linda McClain, CTA, is owner of Capital Region based Linda McClain Travel Services “From The Islands To The Highlands, No Dream Is Too Far From Here!” For more information call 372.7657 or visit www.lindamcclaintravel.net. I invite you to contact me for travel assistance to your favorite travel destination.

By Susan Taylor

Happy New Year! With the post-holiday glow rapidly fading, it is back to life as usual. Reading is an excellent (and inexpensive) way to improve your mood. This month I have one non-fiction and one novel sure to perk you up.

My favorite recent book by far is Made from Scratch: Discovering the Pleasures of a Handmade Life by Jenna Woginrich. Given today’s economy, becoming more self-sufficient and less dependent on imported manufactured goods makes a lot of sense. That said, I am the least likely person I know to move to a farm and become a survivalist; city life suits me just fine! And yet, Jenna Woginrich makes her homesteading life sound almost doable, even for a committed urbanite such as myself. While living in a city and working in an office, Jenna dreamed of leaving consumer culture behind and making a more sustainable life for herself. Before moving out to a farmhouse, her only homesteading skills were basic knitting and soap-making, but when she met her mentor, Diana, at her new office job in Idaho, her do-it-yourself horizons widened considerably.

The book is divided into homesteading topics: raising chickens, practical beekeeping, gardening, cooking, buying secondhand goods, livestock, and for fun, making music. Each chapter includes the story of how Jenna decided to start on that particular adventure, with lots of details on her successes and failures (it turns out baby chicks are not only fragile; they are a tasty snack for your average domesticated dog) and her philosophy of living a more self-sufficient life woven in. Brief how-to blurbs conclude each section, with helpful hints on how to get started for the beginner, whether you are a city slicker or a rural denizen. Made from Scratch concludes with a useful compendium of further resources for readers interested in delving deeper into specific skills. Whether or not you want to live off the grid, this book is an entertaining and inspirational introduction to how anyone, no matter where he or she lives, can become more self-reliant and less a tool of corporate consumerism. Jenna Woginrich will be visiting Market Block Books in Troy on January 24 from 11am-12pm and the Book House from 1:30pm-3pm.

Colleen McCullough, bestselling author of The Thorn Birds, is back this month with a new novel, another in the ever-growing throng of Jane Austen continuations. The Independence of Miss Mary Bennet starts roughly 20 years after the end of Pride and Prejudice. Elizabeth and Darcy are unhappily married (a travesty! and one of the quibbles I have with this book) and Mrs. Bennet has just died after 18 years of living quietly in the country with her unmarried daughter, Mary, as her companion. Darcy, her wealthiest brother-in-law, takes charge of Mary’s future. He decrees that Mary will have a small income from soundly invested principles and that she will live with either his or Bingley’s family for the rest of her life. Fortunately for us and the novel, Mary has other ideas. Mary Bennet, younger sister of two beauties and older sister to two flibbertigibbets, has spent the past 18 years caring for her mother, educating herself and yearning for a larger purpose. After her mother’s death, she decides to write a book about the social ills of England. Her inspiration is Argus, a muckraking pseudonymous newspaper reporter whose letters to the Westminster Chronicle thrill her soul. Exposing injustice against the weak and lobbying for reform are her new concerns. Her first step is to convert her investments into a lump sum so she can travel England searching for subjects to write about. Of course, in the interests of plotline, this endeavor cannot go smoothly. Maiden ladies, aged 38, traveling alone through England in the early 19th century were an uncommon sight, and bound to be the target of robbers or worse, as Mary is. When she disappears, her family, together with Argus (whom she met in his real-life identity as the publisher of the Westminster Chronicle) set out to track her down. Many plot twists ensue, some more believable than others. Evil suffers, families reconcile, and naturally, there is a romance with a happy ending. McCullough’s writing style evokes Austen fairly well, and by taking a minor character from Pride and Prejudice, she leaves herself room to change her protagonist’s appearance and character without provoking an outcry from readers. While Mary’s story is entertaining, I wasn’t thrilled by the paths assigned to Jane and Elizabeth; McCullough took too many liberties with their characters and those of their husbands to suit my taste. That is a minor quibble though. Those who enjoy Austen’s novels will relish this tale of a woman’s emancipation in a time when such a thing was almost unheard of. A great winter read!

Susan Taylor has been in the book business, in one aspect or another, since 1982. She currently works at the Book House of Stuyvesant Plaza. Stop by the store if you are looking for a good book—she’s read a lot more than she can talk about here!

Sun Sign Forecast
For January 2009

By Arlene DeAngelus

Best Days for January 2009: 20th, 24th and 25th. To lose those extra Holiday pounds, begin a diet on the 10th

Aries: (March 21 to April 20)
The New Year begins with a focus on your career or the equivalent. You look for ways to gain recognition and success. Use care not to be too dominating when working with others. After the 21st, you will rethink your goals and directions. Toward the end of the month, you seek out new friends and groups with an interest in humanitarian and community projects.

Taurus: (April 21 to May 20)
The New Year focuses on your understanding and philosophy of life. You are seeking new wisdom. After the 21st, use extra care in professional decisions to avoid any miscommunication and misunderstandings. Later in the month, you work to gain recognition in your career or the equivalent in your life. Your main objective is to achieve success.

Gemini : (May 21 to June 20)
The New Year begins with a focus on the resources and finances that you share with others. This is also a time to settle old debts. After the 21st, your interest turns to such subjects as the law, religion and foreign cultures. Toward the end of the month, you may also explore abstract subjects. You want to expand your knowledge and may attend a class or workshop.

Cancer: (June 21 to July 22)
The New Year focuses on your one-to-one relationships, both personal and business. You will learn much about yourself through these important partnerships. After the 21st, rethink joint financial matters including marital assets. Later in the month, you explore such abstract subjects as reincarnation and mediumship. This is a time when you seek inner knowledge

Leo: (July 23 to August 22)
The New Year begins with a focus on your work, co-workers and health. Co-workers are more cooperative and you work to improve your job situation. After the 21st, communicate clearly in discussions with your partner. Toward the end of the month, you work at dissolving differences in one-to-one partnerships to bring a sense of fulfillment to both of you.

Virgo: (August 23 to September 22)
The New Year focuses on your loved ones and children. Love relationships have more intensity. You look for ways to express yourself in creative projects as a form of self-healing. After the 21st, work and health communications may become confusing. Communicate clearly. Later in the month, you look for creative ways to be of service and of help to others.

Libra: (September 23 to October 22)
The New Year begins with a focus on your personal and domestic affairs. Family relationships become more important. After the 21st, you feel more playful and spend time having fun or with a creative project. Toward the end of the month, you share happy times with loved ones and children. These relationships benefit from a balance between give and take..

Scorpio: (October 23 to November 21)
The New Year focuses on your communications and learning. This is a perfect time to take a class, study or research. After the 21st, redecorate your home or research your family roots. Resolve old family issues. Later in the month, you become involved in improving your family relationships and your living quarters. You enjoy family events.

Sagittarius: (November 22 to December 21)
The New Year begins with a focus on your financial and material assets. You work toward increasing your financial security. After the 21st, rethink all communications and use some old knowledge in a new way. Toward the end of the month, you become more aware of your everyday environment and have new experiences through your day-to-day activities.

Capricorn: (December 22 to January 19)
The New Year focuses on your self-expression and popularity. Now is your time to make a good impression. After the 21st, you review financial decisions and seek ways to gain financial security. Later in the month, you may be able to expand your resources and increase your income. Revise your spending habits and begin a new budget, if necessary.

Aquarius: (January 20 to February 18)
The New Year begins with a focus on your inner self and spirituality. This is a good time to pursue self-awareness studies. After the 21st, you take a new look at your image and appearance. A new hairdo or hair color may be in order. Toward the end of the month, you can expand your personal growth through self-knowledge and self-confidence.

Pisces: (February 19 to March 20)
The New Year focuses on your friends and support groups. You are drawn to humanitarian groups and causes. After the 21st, you review your life and allow yourself to heal from old hurts. You gain new insight into your life and can move forward. A weekend retreat is also inviting. Later in the month, you look for your inner child and spiritual enlightenment.

Arlene is an author, astrologer and para-consultant and has studied and worked with astrology for more than 35 years. She has been a professional astrologer since 1980 and has a Certificate of Merit from Ivy Goldstein-Jacobson (CA) and a Certificate of Proficiency from the Mayo School of Astrology (London) In addition, she holds certifications from the National Spiritualist Association of Churches as both a Medium and Healer (NY 1982-2008).

In a manner of speaking

By John Gray

As we turn the page and start a new year, I want to skip the resolutions and instead make a simple request. It won’t cost you a dime and if you give it to me, I promise to give it right back. What is it? Manners. You see, somewhere between Richie Cunningham and Lindsay Lohan this country has lost its way when it comes to how we treat each other. Put simply, Justin Timberlake wants to bring sexy back, I want to bring manners back. Please.

Let’s start with public enemy number one: the Internet, specifically email, texting and blogging. I love email, couldn’t live without it. But like a child waving a gun, it gives people instant power to blast away without considering the consequences. How many of us have gotten upset and fired off an email without thinking or cooling down first, causing a tear that no apology can mend? Our parents taught us long ago that you shouldn’t make important decisions when you’re upset and you certainly don’t want to lose a friendship because you were too quick on the ‘send’ button.

And am I the only one out there who is sick of getting these ‘chain’ emails that tell me I’m receiving this poem because I’m a very special friend, but if I don’t forward it to 10 other people, locust and doom will swoop down on my life? If you’re really a friend, stop wishing bad things on me.
Oh, and going on a blog and saying nasty things about people anonymously is not brave. It’s mean-spirited at its best, cowardice at its worst.
Since we’re talking technology, can I make another simple request? The next time we’re having a conversation, can you, for the love of God, stop texting? It’s rude. We, meaning YOU and ME, are talking so every time you start twiddling your thumbs sending off a message to the mystery third party, I’m feeling a little ignored. Stop it.

Speaking of being ignored, let’s talk about that little moment we’ve all shared at the check-out counter of the store. You know when you’re in line waiting to get rung out and the clerk answers the phone and starts telling the person on the other end what’s on sale, what size, color. You want to scream, “Excuse me, Mr. Clerk, unlike the person on the phone, I actually left the house and drove down here to give you money, so could you hang up and take it?”
Conversely, customers need to be nicer to the people working in these stores. You know that stack of 200 neatly folded shirts? They are not there to be tossed around like confetti. Look for your size and do your best not to completely destroy an hour of someone’s day. Also, if you want to bring in a coupon take the time to actually read it. Thirty percent off Calvin Klein jeans on February 2nd does not mean 30 percent off another brand on a different day. And you yelling at the clerk while the rest of us wait is not our idea of fun.

The word ‘waitress’ does not mean slave. Don’t snap your fingers to get one’s attention and don’t call them “honey” unless you are looking for some for your tea.
If you plan to get in the Ten Items or Less aisle at the supermarket then you should probably have, at most, 15 items or less. No we won’t count the eggs as 12, but be reasonable because somewhere behind you is a guy with a quart of milk and a jar of peanut butter who’d like to get home by Easter.
If you are stuck in traffic and someone lets you in, you MUST give them a thank you wave. If you are stuck in traffic and someone leaves four inches between their car and the one in front of it that is NOT an invitation to slide right in.

Speaking of driving, if you’re in a hurry, do not tailgate people at 70 miles per hour and flash your high beams. We see you there Jeff Gordon, and once the right lane is clear we plan to push over so you can get to Daytona by race time.

And with so many roundabouts popping up (Bethlehem, Malta), people have got to learn how to drive in them. Here’s a simple guide: when entering one, yield; when in one, don’t stop. Closing your eyes and hoping for the best - not a good plan.

Buying a woman a drink does not mean you can ‘accidentally’ put your hands on her. Also, the amount of money you spend on a date does not equal the articles of clothing she’ll be removing for you later there, Skippy. Example, McDonald’s a shoe, Applebee’s a blouse, 677 Prime the full monty. I only mention this because a female friend of mine had a guy on a first date get very upset when she didn’t invite him ‘upstairs’ at the evening’s conclusion. He actually said, “Do you have any idea how much this night cost me?” Class.
Treating a lady to dinner and holding the door is an old-fashioned notion, I know, but guys should try it some time. That said, ladies, if you have a job it wouldn’t hurt to at least offer to split a check once in a while. Chances are he’ll say no, but appreciate the gesture just the same.

And what ever happened to sending people a real card in the actual mail? E-birthday cards just aren’t the same as something you can hold in your hands. Thank you notes are so rare these days that if you take the time to write a personal message, it will really stand out.

I can see I’m almost out of space, but let me make one last observation. A recent study found that we now text and email much more than we actually talk. That’s too bad because no message on a Blackberry can replace a hug or capture the sound of a child’s laughter.

But since you love texting, let me close in a language you’ll understand - *TYVM and with a VBG tell you that FWIW I think you are GR8 and if anyone tells you we’re not BFF then, well, DBEYR. SCSD!

*Thank you very much and with a very big grin tell you that for what its worth I think you are great and if anyone tells you we’re not best friends forever, then well, don’t believe everything you read. Stay classy San Diego.

John Gray is a Fox23 News anchor and contributing writer at the Troy Record. He can be reached at johngray@fox23news.com