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Marjorie Gross: February 2012 Archives
Sometimes, because we all have a lot going on in our lives, Sunday becomes the day we try to "get it all done". Monday will be here soon enough. Give your body and spirit time to unplug and just "be". After all we're human-beings first and foremost NOT human-doings. Nourishing your soul requires some silence and seperation from a busy routine.
When you're like a keg of dynamite about to go off, patience means just slowing down at that point--just pausing--instead of immediately acting on your usual, habitual response. You refrain from acting, you stop talking to yourself, and then you connect with the soft spot. But at the same time you are completely and totally honest with yourself about what you are feeling. You're not suppressing anything; patience has nothing to do with suppression. In fact, it has everything to do with a gentle, honest relationship with yourself.
At times our feelings can be difficult to manage, but we should never let them prevent us from moving forward into a better life. Fear is just a feeling. It has no real power, except the authority you grant it.
We can think and plan life. We can think and plan a business. We can build brilliant business strategy and savvy life design. We can make sure we're on budget, we manage our time, and delivering high ROI that sees to the needs of work, friends, and family. But savvy and brilliant only go so far. If we want build a lasting business inside a meaningful life we need our head hardwired to our heart.
Here are 25 secrets I've learned about living and working intelligently from the heart.
1. Decide who you want to be and what you're building. It's not a process. It's a decision. We don't have enough future. See it and be it now.
2. See it as a quest and a mission. Just having a goal keeps that vision and mission in our head. A quest is noble requires us to invest our heart.
3. If we don't believe we'll get there, We'll give up as soon as it gets hard. No one else will believe in us either.
4. When we align our mission with our values, we attract people who share them and want to help. Work and life get faster, simpler, and more meaningful.
5. When we speak the hard intelligent truth gently from our hearts, we never regret it. When we don't, we always wish we had.
6. We can't love and punish someone, anyone, in the same moment. See with intelligent love and you might be surprised with the response.
7. Know what's at the heart of the quest before building the campaign to move it forward. An idea still being formed by a heart won't survive the plan being built by an intelligent brain. A brain can forget how that plan impacts the people we care about and who care about us.
8. Make a heartfelt commitment to yourself. That's how integrity starts. Integrity makes us safe, predictable, and easy to trust. Being trustworthy is intelligent.
9. Except when a life is threatened, wanting to run fast is a signal to slow down. Knee jerk responses rarely deliver as we expect.
10. The less time we have for the people we care about, the more that making time to be with them would do us good.
11. When we want want to hold things tightest is when to let go ... Holding something tightly is a sign of fear.
12. When we most want the light to shine on us is the best time to let someone else go first.
13. When we want anything we don't need, it feels better to give something away.
14. Whenever we feel righteous, we're wrong. Righteous means angelic, godlike,and saintly. Taking that view is bad from the start.
15. The universe does not need us to keep it going. The stars do all right without us.
16. People are made of the same carbon stuff as stars. Even the humblest star shines. We should too.
17. Everybody cries, but not everybody cares. The best people do both.
18. We win ourselves when we choose our opinion of ourselves over what we want other people to think.
19. Gratitude is a giving, gracious attitude given from strength. We never have enough gratitude, but we can be too needy.
20. Every act of generosity goes both ways.
21. Everyone wants to look forward to something and needs a safe place to stand. Remembering that can deliver it to us.
22. Everybody gets lost sometimes, but most of us find our way home. Helping someone who wants to find their way is easy. Helping someone who doesn't want to move is difficult.
23. Life is about what things are worth, not what they cost.
24. To know who we are all that we have to do is look at our friends.
25. We can't separate work from life. We're spending the time of our life when we work. Trying to balance work and life is like trying to balance your head with your body can't pull them apart.
People who live and work intelligently from the heart share the humanity of who they are. It's the in the humanity that we connect to them with our minds and with our hearts. They have boundaries to structure their work and their lives but their hearts touch other people. And it shows in the way that their lives and their work are art. You see the intelligence from the heart in the thoughtful unexpected gesture at the moment it's needed most, in the compassion and forgiveness offered by a human with strong sense of self, in the way they seem to breathe an intelligent heartfelt belief that people are meant to be all they are. Head and heart together make meaning in a way that intelligence alone cannot.
Celebration at the end of each step along your life journey is essential to validate your strength, determination and abilities.
Celebration also fuels your entire being for the next step on your path, even of that step is to slow down and relax a bit.
Celebrate how far you have come on your journey; it is way too easy to only see how far you have left to go.
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Marjorie Hope Gross, A.A.S., C.P., C.P.LC.
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