Therapist Albany NY: November 2010 Archives

Try asking yourself noble questions. Put a positive spin on your self-talk.

WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS and notice the number of questions that you ask yourself during the day. Some are simple such as, "I wonder if I have time to make the bus?" or "Should I tell that woman she has spinach in her teeth?" However, you might notice some rather disturbing recurring questions, such as, "Why does this always happen to me?" "What is wrong with me?" "Why do I eat so much?" "Why am I unable to lose weight?" or "When will I ever learn?" These kinds of questions are not empowering.

Whenever you ask a question, the subconscious mind searches--almost like a computer--to find the answer. For example, if you ask, "Why do I always sabotage my relationships?" your subconscious will come up with an answer, such as "You have lousy relationships because that is all you deserve" or some other nonproductive answer. It does not doubt the premise of your question; it just tries to find an answer.

These kinds of questions are called "unworthy questions." Whenever you ask yourself a negative or unworthy question, you will get a negative answer, which creates more negativity in your life. Negative questions thwart the opportunity to get the solution to a problem and keep you in a victim mode.

So today, whenever you find yourself thinking an unworthy question, I would like you to immediately replace it with a worthy or noble question. For example, if you find yourself asking, "Why did this happen to me?" immediately replace it with a noble question, such as, "What value can I get out of this situation?"

Noble questions can be better than affirmations because they lead to action, and once you are in action mode, you will feel that you are in control. You can even periodically create noble questions for yourself, such as "How can I experience even more joy and love in my life right now?" Your mind does not doubt the premise that you are already experiencing joy, so your being responds by feeling good!

Your subconscious mind also begins to search for answers to your questions. For example, if you ask yourself, "How can I feel and be even more abundant?" your subconscious mind may come up with some fabulous creative ideas for you to become more prosperous. But if you ask, "Why am I always broke?" your subconscious mind will not doubt your premise that you are poor, and may give you an answer such as "You are broke because you do not work hard enough!" which does not empower you.

Today, create one inspiring noble question to repeat over and over again:

• "How can I love and appreciate myself even more right now?"
• "How can I make a positive difference in the lives of those I love?"
• "How can I radiate even greater health?"

Synchronicity may appear random, but at closer look you will see that the universe is giving what you asked for.

When events appear to fit together perfectly in our lives it may seem at first that they are random occurrences, things that are the result of coincidence. These synchronous happenings, though, are much more than that, for, if we look at them more closely they can show us that the universe is listening to us and gently communicating with us. Learning to pay attention to and link the things that occur on a daily basis can be a way for us to become more attuned to the fact that most everything happens in our lives for a reason even when that reason is not clear right away. 

When we realize that things often go more smoothly than we can ever imagine, it allows us to take the time to reflect on the patterns in our lives. Even events that might not at first seem to be related to each other are indicators that the universe is working with, not against, us. This idea of synchronicity, then, means that we have to trust there is more to our lives than what we experience on a physical level. We need to be willing to look more closely at the bigger picture, accepting and having confidence in the fact that there is more to our experiences than immediately meets the eye. Being open to synchronicity also means that we have to understand that our lives are filled with both positive and negative events. Once we can recognize that one event is neither more desirable nor better than the other ˆ they all have an overall purpose in our lives - then we are truly ready to listen to the messages the universe gives us. 

While we may not be able to see everything in our lives as being synchronous, we can certainly use hindsight to be more aware of how the universe guides us. This sense of wonder at the mysteries of the universe and the interconnectedness present in our lives will help us see our overall ways of being and will in turn make it easier to work more consciously towards our spiritual evolution.  To explore moving towards a more conscious spiritual evolution in your own life, contact Marjorie Gross, Holistic Life Counselor at 518-862-1974, ext 95 or via email at therapist@nycap.rr.com