By William M. Dowd
I’d like to discuss my criminal career with you.
Nothing that will become a TV movie of the week, or even much of a mention in my obituary, but it’s there.
Some years ago, a local charity talked me into volunteering to be arrested and held for bail. A mock arrest, to be sure, but it was an interesting experience since you actually were hauled off to the county jail and detained there until co-workers, friends and family raised enough donations to spring you.
All told, I was in the slammer for a few hours. I mention this because I hadn’t broken any laws but my incarceration was triple that of Nicole Richie who served 82 hard minutes — without ever actually being put in a cell — in Los Angeles County for a variety of crimes.
Lindsay Lohan, more talented than Nicole but as big a fool, faces an entire day of jail time for her transgressions.
All of which makes me wonder how anyone can take California Style Justice seriously. There is no “justice” system in the nation, now that lynch mob mentality has been erased in the Deep South, that so often is the butt of monologue jokes from TV talk-show hosts and editorial cartoonists.
That statue of Justice holding the scales and wearing a blindfold needs some modifications. I’d suggest replacing the scales of justice with a copy of People magazine and a wad of cash and moving the blindfold down to muffle the giggles that must be emerging from her mouth. At least it would reflect reality.
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