By William M. Dowd
Some actual news items plucked from here and there:
THE LITTLE ONES GROW UP SO QUICKLY, DON’T THEY?
BOULDER, CO — Just when you might have thought he’d never be in the public eye again, Brian Bonsall made a comeback of sorts. The ex-child star, 25, who played Michael J. Fox’s kid brother on Family Ties and Lt. Worf’s son on “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” was arrested on charges of assaulting his girlfriend. She said he poured an alcoholic drink on her face while she slept, put her in a choke hold and threw her onto a bed when she tried to leave, authorities said. Bonsall said he pushed her down in self-defense after she cut his arm and face with a steak knife, but she denied that, according to police.
FINDING A NEW ROOMIE IS JUST SO DARNED HARD
VIENNA, Austria — A local woman lived in their apartment with the mummified remains of her dead aunt, 96, for more than a year. The body, police said, was discovered in a bed. They said she died in August of last year. The remains were taken away and the niece was taken to a psychiatric hospital for examination.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PIGS FLY?
KATHMANDU, Nepal — Bothered by a rash of aircraft technical problems, Nepal Airlines officials sacrificed two goats in front of a Boeing 757 that had developed an electrical fault. They said they hoped the action would please the Hindu sky god Akash Bhairab, and in return he would bless the plane.
HAS ANYONE SEEN ROSS PEROT LATELY?
SAN ANTONIO, TX — A rancher says she has found the carcass of what is either a Tasmanian devil or a chupacabra. The blue-skinned, hairless creature was hit by a car and died. The rancher said she knew something was on her land because cats and chickens were turning up dead, all of them sucked dry of their blood. She said she thought it might be a chupacabra, a mythical crature that sucks goat blood. She said her neighbors think it’s a Tasmanian devil of Texas. Wildlife officials say it actually was a very sick gray fox that possibly had a parasite.
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