Do you make time for your friends? Did you know that friendships are as important to your health as the food you eat and the amount of exercise you fit into your schedule?
We all know it’s important to eat healthy, whole foods, to exercise regularly, get adequate sleep and manage our stress levels. But did you know that having supportive friends is also a health benefit? At the beginning of my health coaching programs, I do an in-depth health assessment. Here are some of the questions I ask: “Do you have support people in your life now? How much time per week do you spend with family and special friends?” The reason for these questions is to identify the level of support my client has at the beginning to the program. I always explain how important support people can be to the success of our health changes.
Researchers in a UCLA study in 2000 showed that women who have a close circle of friends respond to stress with “tend and befriend” rather than the traditional fight or flight stress response. When women gather with other women, as we tend to do, we release more oxytocin, the hormone that influences care-taking and bonding, which has a calming effect. Not just women benefit from friendship though. Men and other family members have shown to weather major life stressors, such as death of loved one or job loss with close friendships.
When we are so busy working and raising our families, it is often difficult to maintain friendships. We run from work to baseball games, home to make dinner, help the kids with homework, do some laundry and collapse in bed. The daily routines leave us little time for friends. Even when our kids grow up and do not need us as much, we fill in those gaps with other “important” tasks. When we realize how important friends can be to our health, both physical and emotional, we can choose to make time for our friends.
If you have drifted away from your friends and find yourself “friendless”, deciding to make new friends is the first step.
To add more positive friends, here are some ideas:
1. Any shared interests is the best way to find a good friend, so whether it’s kid-related activities, sports you enjoy or community events- get out there. If you meet someone that seems interesting, invite them out for coffee/tea another time.
2. Be interested in people. Ask questions and be sincere in listening to their responses. People love to talk about themselves.
3. Rekindle old friendships. No matter how long it has been since you’ve contacted someone, call, write, Facebook message or email an old friend. They may be just as ready as you are to reach out.
4. Volunteer. There are many worthy causes that would love an hour or so of your time and you will certainly find other friendly people to chat with and possibly strike up a friendship.
5. If you are interested in fitness then gyms, yoga studios and wellness centers are all potential locations for meeting like-minded people.
I am an introvert and tend to be rather shy in groups of people and get nervous when I attempt to make new friends. I spent many years as a single parent, barely having time to take care of my essential needs, let alone hang out with friends. When my kids were grown and I was working incredibly long hours as a nurse manager and building my health coaching practice, I decided to take time for friends and found the easiest way was to just smile. Make eye contact and smile. When you are sincere and show interest in someone, even if you are too shy to strike up the conversation, often they will begin the conversation with you. The beauty of people is that there are many socializers out there who are perfectly comfortable talking to anyone. I am blessed to have several wonderful friends who support and encourage me always. So nurture your friendships or get out there and meet some new people… your health depends on it.