Recently in comfort zone Category

The more we are attuned to what our loved ones are feeling, the more capable we are of truly giving what is best for them in their hour of need. Keeping things simple helps us give the part of ourselves that is capable of the greatest amount of compassion--open ears and an understanding heart.

When I first started my counseling and therapy work I resolved to trust my training to the Universe and trust the client to bring to me what they needed for me to help them with, and to trust myself that what I did would lead to the most benevolent outcome for all concerned. I cannot remember it ever not working.

You are love incarnate and so you can do anything. No longer any need to be afraid of ego. You have learned well how to be aware. It is a most beautiful safeguard and keeps us awake.

I'm actually much more of a proponent of "going with the flow" then going against it. And sometimes forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do can be considered going against the flow.

But I do that for a different reason, and not everyone would agree.

I have two schools of thought. On the one hand, expansion is inevitable. We're always called to become more than we are in life. It's the nature of being human.

On the other hand, there's something called "homeostasis." Like a thermostat that's set to a certain temperature, it will always self-regulate. If it gets too hot, the air will kick in to bring it to a cooler temperature. If it gets too cold, it will start flowing hot air. Whatever the gauge is set to, the thermostat will regulate.

Similarly, there's an unconscious process within us that self-regulates. We have relationship set points, money set points, and weight set points. We have comfort zones--sometimes ones that we're completely unaware of.

That's why people who win the lottery can go back to being at the same level of income or bankrupt in less than 6 years. Their unconscious financial set point didn't change because they won a million dollars.

Like the thermostat programmed to monitor the gauge, their unconscious thermostat brought them back to where they were comfortable. They can win millions and within years, they are back to where they started.

I suspect that if you redistributed the wealth in the country and equalized it among all people, it would re-distribute exactly the same way within 3 years, according to people's set points.

I say all of that to say this: Yes, expansion is our nature, but we also come up against our own homeostasis--our own comfort zone. We don't want to move out of what we know.

So, when I force myself to try something new, or get out of my comfort zone, it's my attempt at moving the gauge manually (if we are going with the thermostat analogy).

I want to be comfortable playing in a bigger sand box.

I may be uncomfortable placing myself there for the first time, but if that's where I want to be, I want to know what it feels like there so I can make that my new comfort zone.

We have set points, comfort zones that most of us, for our whole lives don't leave. And I'm not a proponent of doing stuff just to be uncomfortable.

If there is a flow that is already happening, I'm all for going with it.

But if you are here and you want to be there, you do have to wade through what keeps you stuck.

It's going to tell you that you need to stay because it's safe, and you're comfortable, and why change? But at some point, if you want something more, or at the very least different, you're going to need to step out to discover what's on the other side.

If you want something different. Not everyone does. But freedom has always been my quest. Every fear I overcome is a freedom gained.

I liken life to living in a huge mansion with many rooms. Why occupy only two rooms when you have the whole house? The whole property? I want to be free to roam--to know that everywhere is home.

How do we know when to push out of our comfort zone and when to go with the flow? I say, go with the flow as it flows and then when you come up against your own resistance, take the leap.

Be bold, be bold, and everywhere be bold.