It was time, it was finally time to buy a new bed. For over 20 years, my husband and I had slept on a waveless waterbed. When we came together as a couple, I had been sleeping on a homemade futon on the floor. He had a traditional waterbed. The waveless waterbed was our co-sleeping compromise of decades ago and it’s time was over.
Picking a new bed was not hard. We went to the store, Red Brick Furniture, laid on beds together, narrowed down the selection to our top three choices and then laid on beds again and selected a winner.
Then we went home to sleep on our old bed and our decision. After a few nights, it occurred to me that we could consider switching to a Queen sized bed. While both ample bodied, my husband and I like snuggling each other; a Queen size bed would be plenty big enough. Also, we no longer have children piling into bed with us. So back to the store we went to consider bed size.
We both grabbed a store pillow and headed to a Queen sized mattress. We laid on our backs. We lay on our bellies. We spooned left and right. Then it occurred to me, there was not enough room to get away. What if I was mad and wanted my own space? In this Queen sized bed, in my make believe angry huff, he was too close; I would have to sleep on the couch. Oh, no! Even in my imagined fury, willing my husband to the far edge of oblivion, I wanted us in the same bed.
As it turns out, a King sized bed gives me enough room for my anger and my husband. Whew! Another important decision made.
I have often heard the phrase, “Never go to bed angry”, uttered blithely as simple marital advice. Well, in the last twenty-some years, I have, more than a few times, gone to bed angry. Some nights, I have rolled into a tight ball on my side of the bed, hugging the edge and thinking hateful thoughts. Am I proud of this? No. But I am proud that I have worked through those moments. I am proud that we continually choose to stay together even when life (and emotions) are not comfortable, and even when the bed feels too small.
So here is my own blithely, simple advice on the martial bed: Happy, angry, tired or rested, go to bed. Together.
As for my husband and I, we are the proud, happy owners of a wonderful, new, King-sized bed.
May all babies be born into loving hands