Ay caramba. Reader(s)! It’s not true, what you’ve heard. Rumors of my demise (and that of the blog) have been greatly exaggerated. I do feel terribly that we’ve missed out on the start of the summer popcorn season, but here’s a review of what we can expect this July.
New this week:
Magic Mike — trashy, beefcake fun featuring Channing Tatum’s abs, Matthew McConaughey’s abs, and Alex Pettyfer’s abs. It’s like The Full Monty, gone horribly, awesomely wrong.
Madea’s Witness Protection — Tyler Perry’s latest. Featuring Doris Roberts (“Everybody Loves Raymond”). Hopefully this will revive the flagging Perry machine.
Ted — Featuring Mark Wahlberg (I don’t know about his abs, though I hold out some hope there) and an animated bear. Advance notices are positive, so if you are a fan of Marky Mark or Seth MacFarlane, this might be for you.
July 6 —
The Amazing Spider-Man — the hotly-anticipated reboot of the recent series of films. I still am a little put off by that; Spider-Man came out only ten years ago. However, of course I’ll be there to watch because I love me some action popcorn!
July 13 —
Ice Age: Continental Drift — Lucky 13 will bring us another animated feature to keep the kids (and hopefully parents) busy this summer. It features the same starring voices we’ve come to know and love from the previous films, including Denis Leary and the always-perfect John Leguizamo.
July 20 —
The Dark Knight Rises — Whoot! And that’s pretty much all I have to say about that. When the time comes, we will discuss in much greater detail.
Step Up Revolution — you know it. People secretly love those Step Up films for their energy and as cool summer dancing, so Hollywood keeps churning them out.
So, if you feel the need to Beat the Heat, an air-cooled movie house near you can fill the bill.