One of my favorite toys growing up was the Etch-a-Sketch.
Question - How does a grown man fall off the treadmill at a crowded gym? Answer - he tries to run, listen to music, watch the Yankees, check out a cute girl and make sure his wife doesn't catch him, all at the same time. Do the math; it just doesn't add up. I know, because it happened right next to me.
"That is not Jennifer Anniston," the words spoken so loud and clear from the front door of 677 Prime that I'm pretty sure the busboy who was dumping the trash out back heard it.
It's time to get outside and get busy in the yard, and that worries me.
Everyone wants to know what everyone else is thinking and these lists do just that. Do people stuff the ballot box and push some unlikely underdog to the top of a list? I'm sure, but that's America my friend, where anyone can rise to the top if they have enough friends with high speed Internet and time to vote.
If a thief broke into my house, he or she would find very little worth stealing. I mean, sure there are a couple of TVs and this computer I'm typing on right now, but not enough to buy a one-way ticket anywhere.
I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. I mean, if you really want
to make a change you don't need a date on a calendar to do it.
"The season is upon us now, a time for gifts and giving, and as the year draws to a close I think about my living. And Christmastime when I was young, the magic and the wonder. But colors dull and candles dim and dark my standing under."
Air a chill, leaves aglow, mischief fills the night.
There is a thrill, each child will know, an evening filled with fright.
Apples, pumpkins, goblins too, believers big and small,
Will tell you friend, there is no end, to the fiendish fun of fall.